The most important thing anyone can do for a man who may have depression is to help him get to a doctor for a diagnostic evaluation and treatment. First, try to talk to him about depression. Help him understand that depression is a common illness among men and is nothing to be ashamed about. Then encourage him to see a doctor to determine the cause of his symptoms and obtain appropriate treatment.
Occasionally, you may need to make an appointment for the depressed person and accompany him to the doctor. Once he is in treatment, you may continue to help by encouraging him to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to lift (possibly several weeks) or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. This may also mean monitoring whether or not he is taking prescribed medication and attending therapy sessions. Encourage him to be honest with the doctor about his use of alcohol and prescription or recreational drugs and to follow the doctor's orders about the use of these substances while on antidepressant medication.
The second most important thing is to offer emotional support to the depressed person. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage him in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage the feelings he may express, but point out realities and offer hope.
Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person's doctor. In an emergency, call 911.
Invite him for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitations are refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, or religious or cultural activities, but do not push him to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.
Do not accuse the depressed person of laziness or of faking illness or expect him to snap out of it. Eventually, with treatment, most people do get better. Keep that in mind, and keep reassuring him that, with time and help, he will feel better.
Where to Get Help
If you are unsure where to go for help, talk to people you trust who have experience in mental health: for example, a doctor, nurse, social worker, or religious counselor. Ask their advice on where to seek treatment. If there is a university nearby, it may have departments of psychiatry or psychology that offer private or sliding-scale fee clinic treatment options. Otherwise, check the yellow pages of your phone book under mental health, health, social services, suicide prevention, crisis intervention services, hotlines, hospitals, or physicians, for phone numbers and addresses. In times of crisis, the emergency room doctor at a hospital may be able to provide temporary help for a mental health problem and will be able to tell you where and how to get further help.
Listed below are the types of people and places that will make a referral to, or provide, diagnostic and treatment services.
- Family doctors
- Mental health specialists, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, or mental health counselors
- Religious leaders and counselors
- Community mental health centers
- Hospital psychiatry departments and outpatient clinics
- University or medical school-affiliated programs
- State hospital outpatient clinics
- Social service agencies
- Private clinics and facilities
- Employee Assistance Programs
- Local medical or psychiatric societies