Financial problems often are the most visible sign of a gambling problem. You may be worried about the financial health of your spouse … partner … child … parent … brother or sister … close relative … friend. You may be tired of them always asking you for money. You may be worried about your own financial security.
What Is Problem Gambling?
“Problem,” “compulsive,” or “pathological” gambling are terms used to describe a behavior disorder that tends to get worse over time unless it is treated. Treatment experts use specific clinical guidelines for determining whether someone has this behavior disorder. For our purposes, let’s simply say that a problem gambler is anyone whose gambling is causing problems for themselves and the people around them.
Signs of Problem Gambling
The Gam-Anon organization, which works with friends and families of problem gamblers, provides a 20-question guide, Are You Living With a Compulsive Gambler? If you are living with a compulsive gambler, you may answer “yes” to at least six of the following questions.
1. Do you find yourself constantly bothered by bill collectors?
2. Is the person in question often away from home for long, unexplained periods of time?
3. Does this person ever lose time from work due to gambling?
4. Do you feel this person cannot be trusted with money?
5. Does the person in question faithfully promise to stop gambling: beg, plead for another chance, yet gamble again and again?
6. Does this person ever gamble longer than he or she intended to, until the last dollar is gone?
7. Does this person immediately return to gambling to try to recover losses or win more?
8. Does this person ever gamble to get money to solve financial difficulties, or have unrealistic expectations that gambling will bring the family material comfort and wealth?
9. Does this person borrow money with which to gamble or pay gambling debts?
10. Has this person’s reputation ever suffered due to gambling, even to the extent of committing illegal acts to finance gambling?
11. Have you come to the point of hiding money needed for living expenses, knowing that you and the rest of the family may go without food or clothing if you do not?
12. Do you search this person’s clothing or go through his or her wallet when the opportunity presents itself, or otherwise check on his or her activities?
13. Do you hide the gambler’s money?
14. Have you noticed a personality change in the gambler as his or her gambling progresses?
15. Does the person consistently lie to cover up gambling activities?
16. Does this person use guilt as a method of shifting responsibility for his or her gambling to you?
17. Do you attempt to anticipate this person’s mood or try to control his or her life, seeking some stability in your own?
18. Does this person ever suffer from remorse or depression due to gambling? Sometimes to the point of self-destruction?
19. Has the gambling ever brought you to the point of threatening to break up the family unit?
20. Do you feel that your life together with the gambler has become a nightmare?
Here are some additional financial warnings at home and at work that a gambling problem may exist for someone you love or someone with whom you work.
Warning Signs at Home
- Household bills are overdue, or your loved one suddenly wants to take over paying the bills to gain access to additional cash.
- You discover unaccounted-for cash advances from credit cards, maxed-out credit cards, or an increase in the number of active credit cards.
- The suspected gambler is always short of money, despite adequate income.
- Your loved one is secretive about money.
- The suspected gambler may be nearly broke one moment, then showering people with gifts and living “high on the hog” the next moment.
- Your loved one is making requests for unexplained loans from family and friends, or for loans that are blamed on phony financial catastrophes, unexpected expenses, or inadequate income.
- You find high telephone/pager bills.
- Your loved one has large amounts of unexplained cash, yet household bills are going unpaid.
- You notice a disappearance of cash (from a child’s money jar or your wallet, for example).
- A pattern of extremely high-risk investing or frequent investment trading develops.
- Money has been pulled from savings, investment, or retirement accounts for no apparent reason.
- Your loved one has been missing work, going in late, or leaving early.
- Your loved one is frequently bouncing checks or postdating checks.
- You’ve been denied credit.
- Needed household items have been sold or pawned for cash.
- Bill collectors are calling, property is being repossessed, or you’re being threatened with loss of utility services.
Warning Signs at Work
- Your co-worker takes long lunches/breaks to place bets.
- Your co-worker fails to finish projects properly or on schedule due to time spent gambling.
- The suspected gambler is organizing or taking an excessive interest in office pools.
- He or she is borrowing money from co-workers.
- Your co-worker is making gambling-related calls while at work, or has other heavy phone or computer use not related to work.
- Your co-worker is using the computer at work to gamble.
- Your co-worker has been taking cash advances using the company credit card.
- One of your employees is asking for advances in pay.
- You think stealing or embezzling might be going on at work.
Stages of Gambling
Gamblers tend to go through stages of behavior as they fall into the strong grip of problem gambling.
In the initial stage, gamblers find betting fun, exciting, social, or sometimes a way to escape the stress of work, family, or loneliness. In the second stage, the gambler becomes preoccupied with gambling. The need for bigger and more frequent bets grows. In the third, or desperation stage, the gambler may experience health problems, relationships may fall apart, and the gambler may turn to crime. Some experts believe there is a fourth stage, the hopeless stage. The gambler no longer believes there is hope or help. Depression is common and suicide is a real risk.
Not all gamblers go through all the stages, nor do they necessarily experience the stages in any particular order. They also may progress through the stages at different rates.
One other important fact to know about problem gambling is that it is treatable. Like an alcoholic, a problem gambler cannot eliminate the desire to gamble, only put it into remission. A problem gambler cannot gamble “a little.”
Financial Problems Are the Symptom—Not the Cause
“If only I could get my financial life straightened out, I’d never gamble again!”
You probably have heard the gambler in your life make that statement … perhaps many times.
You may want to believe it as much as the gambler does. Yet, straightening out the gambler’s financial life is not likely to end the gambler’s compulsion to bet. That’s because, as we discussed earlier, problem gambling is not a financial problem. It is a serious psychological disorder.
In short, financial problems almost always are the result of a gambling addiction, not the cause of it.
Finding Help
The following organizations can guide gamblers and their families to counseling and recovery support programs. Telephone numbers, addresses, and Web sites for each organization are provided at the end of the handbook.
Gamblers Anonymous was established in 1957 as a “fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from a gambling problem.” Gamblers Anonymous groups can be found throughout the United States. There are no dues or fees for membership; the only requirement is a desire to stop gambling.
Gam-Anon is a group of men and women who are husbands, wives, relatives, or close friends of compulsive gamblers. Their goal is to seek a solution for living with this problem by changing their own lives. Gam-Anon members are cautioned not to expect that their actions will cause the problem gambler to seek treatment, although this is sometimes the fortunate result. Gam-Anon groups can be found throughout the United States.
National Council on Problem Gambling, Inc., is a nonprofit health agency whose mission is to increase public awareness of pathological gambling, to ensure the widespread availability of treatment for problem gamblers and their families, and to encourage research and programs for prevention and education. The National Council has a 24-hour confidential helpline, (800) 522-4700, and 34 state affiliate chapters.
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Source: Content provided and maintained by the National Council on Problem Gambling