College recruiting: Who Can You Trust?

By Amy Nickerson, M.A.

As someone who frequently consults with student-athletes and their parents about a variety of issues, I often entertain questions about the college recruiting process. Many parents, after going through a few recruiting visits and meeting coaches interested in their student-athletes, seem to have the same question – who can you really trust?

Many share their tales of college recruiting with me.  I have heard numerous positive, “warm and fuzzy” accounts of phenomenal scholarship offers, of the “right” coach finding the “right” student-athlete, and of generally positive interactions with coaches attempting to woo their precious children to their schools.

Unfortunately, I also hear my share of negative stories, sad stories and sometimes even unbelievable stories.  These stories are told from the perspectives of parents of student-athletes who simply want the best for their children and somehow end up feeling confused, misdirected and, at times, even betrayed.  So what’s a parent to do?

If you happen to have a student-athlete who is in the midst of the college recruiting process, you should know that there are a lot of variables to consider and weigh.  Some colleges that are interested in your child today may lose interest tomorrow.  Another student-athlete who is more appealing or better suited for their program may pop onto the scene, changing your student-athlete’s trajectory.  Injuries happen.  Bad grades can happen. Coaching changes happen.  Coaches change their minds. Lots of things transpire at a moment’s notice. 

Despite all of these variables, some parents share that they lost trust in the recruiting coach somewhere along the way.  Some say that they were told one thing, and then another thing happened. Some say that they were lied to by coaches about their level of interest or what opportunities were realistically available.  When parents (who are obviously disillusioned about the recruiting process) tell me these sorts of things, I usually advise that, although I know that these types of unfortunate events can occur, they are not the norm. I try to help them see how miscommunications and misunderstandings happen, and how some information can get “lost” in the process.

Do college recruiters lie? Purposely not tell the truth?  Although a few coaches have admitted publicly that they lied to recruits, I have found that, when a perceived breach of trust occurs between a student-athlete or the parent and a college recruiter, it often occurs due to an omission of information of some sort.  Sometimes there can be unintended omissions, when some information was simply forgotten or did not get conveyed.  There is also what I call a willful omission, and some of the blame can fall in this category. I advise parents of student-athletes, if nothing else, to be on the lookout for these willful omissions.

WILLFUL OMISSIONS

So what is a “willful omission?”  In short, it is when someone chooses to not tell you everything.  They may give you bits of correct information, but leave out something that you may have needed to know or feel, after the fact, that you should have been told.  Some examples?

• “The coach told us that he really liked our son and that he could be a huge asset to their program….but they didn’t tell us that they had already offered eight guys at the same position.”

• “We met with the coach and he told us our son was the best in the area at his position….but then we read in the paper that they are heavily recruiting another player for the same spot.”

• “The coach offered our son a spot, but when he wanted to accept the offer later, the spot was already gone to someone else.”

Clearly, there can be instances where a coach may not tell the entire story, or may neglect to share the complete picture of what is going on. In the midst of all of the variables and twists and turns of recruiting, parents of student-athletes must stay grounded and evaluate the full spectrum of possibilities.

College coaches must recruit every year to continue to build or sustain their programs.  Bottom line, they must “sell” their teams in order to survive.  Most college coaches operate with integrity and honesty, but there can be some outliers, and it is unfortunate that a few “bad apples” can spoil the reputation of the whole bunch.  So, while it is true that sometimes a coach may misrepresent or “bend the truth”, most coaches do not operate this way. 

Still, in an arena as competitive and ever-changing as college sports, you cannot place your full trust in any one person. The more involved you are, the better the “vetting” process for those who may wind up coaching your child. Ask questions often.  If you have any doubts or misgivings about any matters, voice them.  Share your concerns. Pose certain questions or “what ifs” to coaches when you meet to make sure you have a complete understanding of what is going on. And always trust your gut.

Until next time,

Your All-Pro Team Mom