By Kate Fagan | Dec 5, 2013
espnW.com
NEW YORK -- Troy Vincent is being asked to share his name, his favorite childhood toy and his PGP -- preferred gender pronoun.
The introductions are an icebreaker. More than a dozen people are gathered in a conference room at the Hetrick-Martin Institute, which works to empower, educate and advocate for LGBTQ youth. A teenage girl speaks first. She says her name, that she prefers "she" and "her" as pronouns, and then mentions an obscure toy.
Vincent goes third.
Bennett Raglin/Getty Images
The meeting took place at the Hetrick-Martin Institute, which works to empower, educate and advocate for LGBTQ youth, and included chief executive Thomas Krever.
"My name is Troy Vincent," he says, quickly becoming animated as he thinks about his favorite toy. "When I was a kid, I loved the Big Wheel." He smiles and mimics turning the imaginary handles of the plastic tricycle.
Then he leans back and nods once. He is done speaking.
But his turn isn't over yet. There is a long pause before someone from across the room asks, "And your PGP, Troy?"
Vincent played 15 seasons in the NFL. He is now 43 years old, and works as the league's senior vice president for player engagement. In his prime, which wasn't all that long ago, he was fast and strong, one of the best cornerbacks in a league known for its physicality and tough-guy culture. So it's not surprising that Vincent has assumed everyone else in the room would figure his PGP is "he" -- all masculine pronouns, please.
Then again, the whole point of this meeting is to quit making assumptions -- about LGBTQ people, yes, but also about football players. Vincent has already explained that he believes a false narrative exists in which football locker rooms are often perceived as barbaric, homophobic places, especially after the recent scandal involving suspended Miami Dolphins lineman Richie Incognito.
Vincent wants to reframe the thinking, to reshape the dialogue. It's part of the reason he and Dwight Hollier, a former NFL linebacker, are representing the league at this event on Tuesday afternoon, the soft launch of the "High Five" initiative created by You Can Play and intended to connect LGBTQ youth with leaders from the pro sports community.
"Male," Vincent says. And now the introductions continue. The next teen in the room identifies his PGP as "he, she, they, Z -- anything, as long as it's respectful."
Hollier, who works as the NFL's director of transition and clinical services, is sitting a few seats down from Vincent. "Hi, my name is Dwight," he says. "All male pronouns. And my favorite toys as a kid were Hot Wheels, the race cars."
At first glance, it would seem that Vincent and Hollier have little in common with the teens in this room. But finding the similarities is actually quite easy. "This is exactly what we do at the NFL rookie symposium," Vincent says soon after everyone has introduced themselves. "We break down into groups, then go around and do an icebreaker, so that you get to know something personal about everyone."
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