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Does Our Generosity Help or Hurt?

The vast majority of NFL players have huge hearts.  We understand that we were not alone in our march towards the pinnacle of our sport.  We constantly look for ways to express gratitude to those who encouraged us.  Often times this expression comes in the form of monetary gifts.

Whether or not to give money away to friends and family is a very personal decision.  If we decide we want to give away money, there are a couple things we might want to consider:

  • We give money to friends and family to improve their lives.  This quality of life enhancement is the same reason we work so hard for money.  The question is, for how long do we want to improve their lives?  A year?  Five years?  If we give away so much that we have to stop giving them money in the near future, have we really improved their lives?  Given general human psychology, a lot of assistance over a short time span will lead to mismanaged expectations and a related resentment.  A plan to give an amount that is sustainable over the long term could prove to be something for which others remain thankful.
  • We can give away money to friends and family in two ways:
    • We can do so directly by handing someone a check, cash, etc.
    • We can overpay someone to provide services to us.

Either way, we have to ask ourselves whether we are helping or handicapping this person.  For example, let’s assume we pay a college teammate to be our assistant without checking the hourly rate for personal assistant work.  He’s “our boy” so we give him an exorbitant amount of pay, let him live rent free and give him use of our vehicle(s).  If we are overpaying, there is a good chance we won’t be able to do so forever.  It might not be economically sustainable, we might get married to someone who doesn’t want our friend living with us, etc.  What have we really done for “our boy”?  Just like our 20s and early 30s are the time for us to hustle and make the most of our athletic careers, so they are for the general population to advance in their careers.  The most ambitious live meagerly and work 16 hour days, 7 days/week.  This is feasible when we’re young and single without a house to keep up.  This is much less so when we have children we want to spend time with, a house that needs repairs and a little less energy than we once had.  By overpaying “our boy” to perform menial tasks during what should be his highest potential years, we have to ask ourselves: Are we helping or hurting?

It is without a doubt that we give away money with the best of intentions.  Let’s make sure that we’re the ones responsible enough to understand what is best for the long term.

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